Sunday Phunnies

Martha's Way ... and Mine
Martha's way #1:
Stuff a miniature marshmallow in the bottom of a sugar cone to prevent ice cream drips.
The Real Women's Way:
Just suck the ice cream out of the bottom of the cone, for Pete's sake. Anyway, you're probably eating it while lying on the couch with your feet up.
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Martha's way #2:
To keep potatoes from budding, place an apple in the bag with the potatoes.
The Real Women's Way:
Buy Hungry Jack mashed potato mix and keep it in the pantry for up to a year.
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Martha's way #3:
When a cake recipe calls for flouring the baking pan, use a bit of the dry cake mix instead and there won't be any white mess on the outside of the cake.
The Real Women's Way:
Go to the bakery. They'll even decorate it for you.
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Martha's way #4:
If you accidentally over salt a dish while it's still cooking, drop in a peeled potato and it will absorb the excess salt in an instant.
The Real Women's Way:
If you over salt a dish while you are cooking, that's too darn bad. Please recite with me The Real Women's motto: I made it and you will eat it and I don't care how bad it tastes!
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Martha's way #5:
Brush some beaten egg white over pie crust before baking to yield a beautiful glossy finish.
The Real Women's Way:
The Mrs. Smith frozen pie directions do not include brushing egg whites over the crust so I just don't do it.
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Martha's way #6:
Cure for headaches: Take a lime, cut it in half and rub it on your forehead. The throbbing will go away.
The Real Women's Way:
Take a lime, mix it with tequila, etc., chill and drink. You might still have the headache, but who cares?
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Martha's way #7:
Don't throw out all that leftover wine. Freeze it into ice cubes for future use in casseroles and sauces.
The Real Women's Way:
What leftover wine??