Sunday Phunnies

While reading a newspaper, Walter came across an article about a beautiful actress and model who married a boxer who was noted for his IQ.

"I'll never understand," he said to his wife, "why the biggest jerks get the most attractive wives."

His wife replied, "Why, thank you, dear."

Sunday Phunnies

At the redneck church:

1. People ask, when Jesus fed the 5000, whether the two fish were bass or catfish, and what bait was used to catch 'em.

2. The pastor says, "I'd like to ask Bubba to help take up the offering," and then five guys and two women stand up.

3. Opening day of deer season is recognized as an official church holiday.

4. A member of the church requests to be buried in his 4-wheel-drive truck because "It ain't never been in a hole it couldn't get out of."

5. The choir is known as the "OK Chorale."

6. Boone's Farm "Tickle Pink" is the favorite wine for communion.

7. In a congregation of 500 members, there are only seven last names in the church directory.

8. Baptism is referred to as "branding".

9. There is a special fund raiser for a new church septic tank.

10. Finding and returning lost sheep isn't just a parable.

11. High notes on the organ set the dogs on the floor to howling.

12. People think "rapture" is what you get when you lift something too heavy.

13. The final words of the benediction are, "Y'all come back now, ya hear?" (banjo accompaniment optional)

Sunday Phunnies

Knock, Knock.
Who's there?
Hatch.
Hatch who?
Cover your mouth when you sneeze!


KNOCK KNOCK
WHO'S THERE
CARGOES
CARGOES WHO?
CARGOES BEEP BEEP !


Knock Knock.
Who's there?
Dishes.
Dishes who?
Dishes the police, come out with your hands up!!

Sunday Phunnies

Ever wonder how blondes remember their Passwords?

During a recent password audit, it was found that a blonde was using the following password:
MickeyMinniePlutoHueyLouieDeweyDonaldGoofy

When asked why such a big password, she said, "It had to be at least 8 characters long.
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There was a brunette walking on a railroad track saying, " 22, 22, 22, 22..."

A blonde walking near-by heard the brunette. So, the blonde asked if she could join the brunette.

The brunette said sure and together they said, " 22, 22, 22, 22.."

Later on a train comes down the track. The brunette jumps off, but the blonde is not so lucky.

So, the brunette jumps back on the track after the train is gone and says, "23, 23, 23, 23..."

Happy New Year

Happy New Year!!