About Me

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MS Gulf Coast, United States
I am a Christian wife, mother and grandmother. I love to sew and create new and innovative items to share with my customers. The most popular area of my store is my Walnut Grove section which features clothing reminiscent of "Little House on the Prairie". Please take a moment to visit my store and see my latest creations. www.pattisoriginals.etsy.com

Sunday, August 21, 2011

Sunday Phunnies

Observations

"When I die, I want to die like my grandfather, who died peacefully in his sleep ... not screaming like all the passengers in his car." -- Author Unknown

Advice for the day: If you have a lot of tension and you get a headache, do what it says on the aspirin bottle: "Take two aspirin" and "Keep away from children" -- Author Unknown

"Instead of getting married again, I'm going to find a woman I don't like and just give her a house." -- Rod Stewart

"The problem with the designated driver program ... it's not a desirable job, but if you ever get sucked into doing it, have fun with it. At the end of the night, drop them off at the wrong house." -- Jeff Foxworthy

"If a woman has to choose between catching a fly ball and saving an infant's life, she will choose to save the infant's life without even considering if there is a man on base." -- Dave Barry

"My Mom said she learned how to swim when someone took her out in the lake and threw her off the boat. I said, 'Mom, they weren't trying to teach you how to swim.'" -- Paula Poundstone

"A study in the Washington Post says that women have better verbal skills than men. I just want to say to the authors of that study: 'Duh.'" -- Conan O'Brien

"Why does Sea World have a seafood restaurant? I'm halfway through my fish burger and I realize, Oh my gosh ... I could be eating a slow learner." -- Lynda Montgomery

"I think that's how Chicago got started. A bunch of people in New York said, 'Gee, I'm enjoying the crime and the poverty, but it just isn't cold enough. Let's go west.'" -- Richard Jeni

"If life were fair, Elvis would be alive and all the impersonators would be dead." -- Johnny Carson

"Sometimes I think war is God's way of teaching us geography." -- Paul Rodriguez

"My parents didn't want to move to Florida, but they turned sixty, and that's the law." -- Jerry Seinfeld

"Remember in elementary school, you were told that in case of fire you have to line up quietly in a
single file line from smallest to tallest. What is the logic in that? What, do tall people burn slower?" -- Warren Hutcherson

"Suppose you were an idiot ... And suppose you were a member of Congress ... But I repeat myself." -- Mark Twain

"Our bombs are smarter than the average high school student. At least they can find Afghanistan." -- A. Whitney Brown

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